Elijah’s Love

My Elijah:  What would you look like now? (Beautiful I’m sure, you would have yelled at me for saying “beautiful” because “boys aren’t BEAUTIFUL Momma, they are Handsome!”  But yes, YES you were.  Simply beautiful.)  What would you be like now? (Would you still be so proud of your family – would you still think that your Momma and your sister were the most beautiful girls in the world?  Would you still think our house smells better than any other house? ☀️🌹Would you love Jesus and still proudly call yourself a Jesus Freak?  ✝️ I can’t imagine you any other way … you were born so aware of Him.)  How would you feel about your big brother being in college and on his own now? (Annoyed, because you would want him home with us. 😂). What would you think of your little sister being in 6th grade?  (NO boys!! 🤣) How would you feel about the current dynamic of our family today?  (I think you would LOVE it! You always wanted to keep people with us.)

I am so grateful that my son was known.  I am no expert and God knows we are FAR from perfect parents – none of us are BUT … I thank God every day of my life that we listened when God prompted us to:

1.  LEAVE my full time job (even if it meant struggling from time to time),

2.  Hug and love on that baby all the time,

3.  TELL him a million times a day (if I felt he needed it) how special and loved he was/is,

4.  Buy him jammies to his sweet hearts content (because they were his favorite thing & that mattered to us),

5. STOP life, shut down & have movie days with every blanket in the house on the living room floor, roasting smores in the fireplace & letting laundry, cleaning & all mundane tasks go for a day to wrap those babies in love and complete adoration,

6. Admit to him when I was wrong AND APOLOGIZE,

7. Know his friends & invite them into our home & lives,

8. Help him when he didn’t know how to resolve conflict …

9. Knowing (really knowing) the character of the sweet child that God entrusted to us…

10.  GETTING INVOLVED (prayerfully because they need independence too).

There have been times when I have been told I was/am TOO involved.  Maybe sometimes I was/am, maybe not.  Regardless, my son knew that He and his brother and sister were adored and loved beyond measure.  OUR job was to parent him as an individual, Not in a One size fits all kind of way. With Elijah It didn’t always look the way it does for other kids, he didn’t want to stay so busy that he didn’t know if he was coming or going & Lord am I grateful for that today!

One of the things that Losing Elijah taught me is that NO MATTER WHAT, I will stay engaged in my kids lives, if that means that we do it the exact opposite of the way that most of the world does it – that’s ok with me.  I don’t need to keep up.  There will not be a day on this earth that I regret being ‘all in’ with Elijah & I sincerely doubt that I ever will with the rest of them.

Time seems to be in short supply for us adults, sometimes we forget that in childhood time is different – it doesn’t move as fast.  You will not EVER regret the QUALITY time you spend with your babies, Not ever.  Take the time to let them talk before bedtime, One-on-One .. maybe take it from 5 sports to 2, field & court time is just not the same. Know them, have meaningful conversations daily – this is SO important! Show them that you are human and fallible & it’s ok to make mistakes and fall short – it’s part of life & growth. We can’t be perfect here & that’s why God gave us a Savior & He is Mighty to Save!

Don’t blink – tomorrow may never come, it isn’t promised.  It didn’t for us … Let that sink in …

Today and Tomorrow we grieve and celebrate all at the same time –  my baby has been gone for 4 years & I can still hardly believe that we have survived it .. but even more; that in some strange, unexplainable way – we are stronger, better – I know that makes him smile. 4 years

later: Some days it feels like yesterday, like I’m still going to wake up from this horrible, horrible nightmare that he is not present in – it’s just too much & I want to scream and throw things & I have to be so intentional about my response to life … EVERY day I melt into Jesus because trying to live a fruitful, productive, persevering life in the aftermath would be IMPOSSIBLE for us. But Because of Him We will always carry around Elijah’s Great Love.

🦋🦋🦋🦋

#4years #Writingitoutkeepsmeok #Jesuskeepsmebetterthanok

#ElijahsGreatLove #HesHome #JustPartedForAwhile #Overcomer #YouCannotUnderstand #Donttryto #ThankYourFatherForThat #AdoreYourBabies #WrapThemInLove #TeachThemJesus

#DontDrinkandDrive 💔

3 thoughts on “Elijah’s Love

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  1. Hello Amanda, I’m not sure if you will remember me, but I was introduce to you and your family by my sister Melissia Wheeler… You and I have met in passing a couple time at Saturday morning football games, and the hair salon… My name is Mandy one of my sons is Xavier who always played football… When Melissia told me about your accident I started following on Facebook… I kept her updated as much as possible… We have prayed for your family numerous times… I just came across this blog this morning for the 1st time… It just spoke volumes to me… I have a son who’s married, Xavier is now away in college, and my 3 young daughters that I homeschool… I get so busy most days that Im over whelmed, always trying to keep the house cleaned and straightened and feeling stressed… Im so happy that you wrote this blog to express how important it is to spend quality time with our children, and family… I know God has spoken directly to me this morning… Because even though I’m with my children 24/7 I can be here physically but still not be engaged with them properly… With the power of The Holy Spirit I will start making changes to be more connected, and not so sidetracked with housework, and facebook… Im so touched by your life and the huge obstacles you had to overcome… Can’t even begin to wrap my mind around losing one of my children… Im so glad you know our our precious Savior Jesus Christ… He is truly the the Prince of Peace… I prayer the Lord continues to bless and keep you and make his face shine upon you… You are and inspiration to me like no other… I will be thinking about you, and your family praying for you on the days surrounding and the anniversary of this tragic day!! Sending MUCH LOVE to you all!! God bless you sweetheart!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Mandy ~ I ABSOLUTELY remember you! I have said many prayers for you & your family – I remember how close your sister was with your kids & I see still see Cameron at church from time to time.

      Thank you for sharing with me – What an honor! I can’t tell you how that warms my heart; my prayer since the accident has been that the enemy get NO glory from our story!! Jesus is the reason we have Overcome (by the blood of the lamb & the word of our testimony). Today is SO tough… oh how I miss his sweet face … thank you for every prayer & all of the love! So many blessings to you & your family.

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